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Bienvenue en France!

Salut, mon ami !

I have been waiting for you - after all, it is only a matter of time before everyone finds himself visiting Big Brother France. Come, come! Stay awhile and visit with me. Je t'assure, I will make it more than worth your while~

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Must you do this every time you see him?

If I reinforce what I know to be a very deep affection for me every time we speak, some day he will recognize the truth and admit it himself. It is a foolproof plan.

(Unless used on Romano.)

(That was not worth picking tomato seeds out of my hair.)

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Oh honestly. That is what you wrestled the computer away to say? I am retracting my (incredibly generous) offer to replace your spilled tea, so I hope that comment was worth the sacrifice.

I’m perfectly capable of making my own tea, thank you.

Besides, you never make it properly.

But of course! — the most esteemed chef in Europe could not possibly manage a feat as incredible as steeping leaves in hot water. If only I had your inconceivable talent of filling a kettle at the sink!

(By the way, I suppose sufficient time has passed for me to point out that it stained your carpet.)

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Clearly you’re going senile in your old age; I don’t know what you’re talking about.

May I remind you that the remote (re)activation of the cameras installed in your house is only a phone call away~

Is it even possible to be even more full of yourself than you already are?

Now that you mention it, there is a certain masturbatory position self-pleasuring technique (doesn’t that sound much more attractive?) that I’ve been meaning to revisit..

britishgentleman a réagi à votre photo : Ennui.
Your boss finally managed to make you do actual work? I’m impressed.

Mock if you will, but be thankful that though my poor fingers have been taxed by mountains of paperwork, I stayed in the background during the presentations and spared my throat. In light of our, ah, business plans tonight, don’t I get credit for such thoughtfulness~?

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britishgentleman a réagi à votre billet : I hate you.

In your conversation with Feliciano, was it necessary for you to carry on about my brother like that?

In short: yes.

(And that reply is as abridged as were my comments regarding your brother. If you need a reminder of just how much I can and didn’t ”carry on,” I would be only too happy to provide the complete version to do him full justice!)


(No, really, I would be delighted, may I? I have illustrations, too.)

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britishgentleman a demandé:
I hate you.

Ma réponse:

Pardonne-moi ? What did I do?!

— Everyone is being so aggressive to me today!! 

britishgentleman a réagi à votre billet : Leave Lovino alone.

Once again I must ask myself why I even bother to deal with you on a regular basis.

Time permitting, I’ll stop by this evening with a reminder. Perhaps several reminders. Perhaps an entire series of very emphatic reminders. Do go ahead and clear your schedule (as though you would have anything penciled in after work hours!), it may take all night~

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britishgentleman a demandé:
Leave Lovino alone.

Ma réponse:

You don’t usually grow so jealous so quickly. Honestly, you needn’t be so insecure — he may have the lush Mediterranean physique on his side, but if I am going to choose between two bad attitudes, at least you have the benefit of having good taste. 

(When it comes to men, that is. Do not delude yourself into believing that I refer to your taste in cuisine, fashion, media, architecture, art, sports, language, hobbies, or women in any high regard.)

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britishgentleman a réagi à votre billet : britishgentleman a réagi à votre billet : …

Of course you are. You already know my answer on that, too.

Superbe ~!

Alors, who would like to volunteer first for their very own one-on-one tutelage session with yours truly? (Arthur will be watching, but if you find that a disagreeable eyesore — for which I certainly would not blame you — do not worry, I have an excellent set of drapery with which to cover him up. Or a potted plant, perhaps?)

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